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直男 VS 直男癌,我们和几个男生聊了聊
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直男 VS 直男癌,我们和几个男生聊了聊

28 九月 2018 - 05:09

不知道从什么时候起,我们常常看到“直男癌”这个词。可对于身边的一众男性来说,他们自己压根就不知道直男为什么会和“癌”挂上钩。今天伞君找了四位男性,来和大家聊聊他们对直男和直男癌的理解。

 
一、“女生不该有太多异性朋友”
 
 
Q: 在你心目中,什么是直男?要具备什么特质?
 
A:  直男不就是和弯的相反的嘛?可以认为是性取向为女性的男人。
 
Q: 哪些行为、言语或者小细节会让你觉得这个人是直男癌?
 
A: 直男癌行为方面,可能有出去吃饭男的一定要买单,男的要最终拿主意定意见。还有认为女生都是弱势群体,需要男的保护,女的要靠着男的、依附男的。或者大男子主义,把女的物化,认为女的就得生孩子,女的就要做家务等。
 
Q: 你觉得自己有这方面的行为么?
 
A: 有点,觉得必须要保护女生,或者认为生孩子女生是主力。哈哈。
 
Q: 最近一次感受到直男癌是在?
 
A: 毕业时候有男生认为女生不应该有太多异性朋友,要顾及家庭。
 
Q: 直男癌的言论行为会影响到你个人的生活么?
 
A: 会,首先会影响我们夫妻或者情侣的关系,如果说了很多这种话,感觉有可能造成夫妻间不必要的矛盾。还有就是无形中增加了男性的社会压力,以及女生的就业压力。
 
 
二、“非弯的都算直男”
 
 
Q: 在你心目中,什么是直男?要具备什么特质?
 
A:非弯的都算直男。
 
Q: 哪些行为、言语或者小细节会让你觉得这个人是直男癌?
 
A: 情商极低或者对路人女性的胸腿评论。
 
Q: 所以你觉得直男癌包括所有情商极低的人?
 
A: 应该把“或”改成“且”吧。
 
Q: 最近一次感受到直男癌是在?
 
A: 嗯……这个我还真不是太记得了。姑且算是我同事吧,很喜欢吹捧自己,什么都要插一嘴。在异性的面前要极力地、Low B 地表现自己,且还觉得自己很流弊。
 
 
三、我现在不太会描述直男癌对我来说是什么意思
 
 
直男 VS 直男癌,我们和几个男生聊了聊
 
 
Q: 在你心目中,什么是直男?要具备什么特质?
 
A: hmmm...在我心中直男跟气质在概念本质上没有直接的联系,我对直男的定义就是“only attracted to women”(只中意女性)...
 
Q: 哪些行为、言语或者小细节会让你觉得这个人是直男癌?
 
A: 比如说,会不经意间发出有点性别歧视的言论(好像说,他怎样棒,他怎样棒,她也还不错,这种类似的),又比如某些时候会显得对人的考虑不太周全,就像俗话说的“情商低”(可能不太准确...),以及可能很多人给了反馈意见之后也并没有反思,或者反思没有什么作用,毕竟叫“癌”(?)但是整体我对直男癌的接触比较少好像。
 
Q: 最近一次感受到直男癌是在?
 
A: 需要讲具体例子吗?
 
Q: 是的呢,能想到的最近的例子?
 
A: 马上能想到的例子,是上课的时候,教授在跟我们讨论归纳性逻辑思维和演绎性逻辑思维在人认知世界上的区别,最后结论是“我们活在一个归纳性逻辑思维的世界里,然而很多人(包括学者)都是带着演绎性逻辑思维在做事”,这个时候某男学生就说“对啊,我妻子就是这样,很多思维都是演绎性逻辑思维”。
 
不知道准不准确...我觉得我现在不太会描述直男癌对我来说是什么意思,有点约等于性别歧视的感觉。
 
 
四、直男癌并不仅限于男人
 
 
首先,“直男癌”并不仅限于男人——并不仅限于用来描述男性沙文主义,推崇男人是天女人是地的男性至上论,无理性地信奉漠视女性价值、不尊重女性的双重标准。
 
它的患者可是包含“某些男性”之外无数的知心大姐、热心阿姨和“红旗手”大妈级的女性战友。
 
他们与她们共同信奉的信仰是:“嫁人生子”是人生之巅峰,一定要把所有“不爱红妆爱武装”的妹妹们送上花轿、尤其是每年春节假期临近,“逼婚”之战一触即发。
 
直男癌这个词,一方面,它能警醒人们关于性别歧视与性别不平等的现象。
 
另一方面,这一思维和类似语言与评论的高频出现,以及其对女性的围攻,又会对年轻女性造成较为负面的影响,对某些女性会产生自我价值的怀疑、性别歧视的自我内化,从而认为女人就是应该做好家务管好孩子。
 
知乎的观察是:
 
中国现存的男尊现象依然大肆根存于80后与90后。
 
据观察,很多男性,想要老婆会赚钱,想要老婆能操持家务,想要老婆能讨婆婆的欢喜,又想要老婆能带好小孩,最后还希望老婆像年轻的情人一样保持曼妙的身材与诱人的调情手段。
 
(源于知乎网友”“捕捉一场风”,该观察笔记在“直男癌”词条下得到最多赞赏。)
 
多么“崇高美好”的愿景,看来女人们要好好努力了,成为21世纪的新世纪中国超女。
 
p.s. 特别鸣谢吴炜华老师!
 
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